Japanese culture is fascinating

After seeing stuff like this, I don't know if I want to go to Japan or stay far, far away.

Exhibit A: Bikini Pants - Here's a hot new fashion trend that happens when fashion designers don't order enough denim.

Exhibit B: Air Sex - This is what happens when sex-starved Japanese men get drunk and horny together. It's like air guitar, but substitute guitar with sex...they are dead serious.

Chuck Norris Mii

Yeah, Chuck Norris is so 2005. But when talk of Walker, Texas Ranger comes up over dinner and I find this nifty video on how to make a Chuck Norris Mii a few hours later, surely this must be a sign.

A sign of what? I don't really know...God help us!

The Forgotten

Just watched The Departed again, and as awesome as Marky Mark was, I must say that Alec Baldwin delivered some classics as well.

They can be seen here.

Sadly, the "Three Best Lines from The Departed" only included two of my favorites. The third, I'll just transcribe here.

Alec Baldwin: How is your wedding coming along?
Matt Damon: Great, great; she's a doctor.
AB: That's outstanding.
MD: Yeah.
AB: Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work.

Muppet Faces of Death

In this video...muppets die!

A song for every situation

I remember watching Robert Rodriguez's Desperado back in high school, particularly the scene in which Quentin Tarantino makes his entrance into Cheech's hole-in-the-wall bar. As he stepped through the door, an uptempo drumbeat started playing in the background. It wasn't very loud or intrusive, but it was catchy enough for me to notice that this was a guy to watch out for, and not because he was Quentin Tarantino. It was a memorable yet short-lived cameo, but I'll always remember the music.

Recent conversations have made me think, what would my own soundtrack consist of? If my life played out like a bad, cliched Hollywood movie, what songs would I have playing during the car chase or the training montage, etc.? I do not mean soundtrack for an autobiographical movie. If that were the case, then I'd have a bunch of 80s music for my childhood, grunge rock and metal for my teenage years and then a broad range of music for my life since then.

Here's what I could scrounge up from my library:

1. "Junior Kickstart" - The Go! Team: For the chase scene. I wouldn't doubt it was written with this in mind.
   
2. "This Heart's on Fire" - Wolf Parade: For the training montage. It just needs a faster tempo, like when they play live.
   
3. "Africa" - Toto: For the group sing-along...you know it's going to happen.
   
4. "Campaigner" - Neil Young: For that introspective, mopey, down-in-the-dumps scene.
   
5. "Tonight" - TV on the Radio: I would just loop the first 20 seconds. It's perfect for when the shit hits the fan.
   
6. "More than 3cm" - Yoko Kanno: For the laid-back, intimate scene.
   
7. "Rebellion (Lies)" - Arcade Fire: For any sort of revelation or inspiration that may strike me.
   
8. "Yakety Sax" a.k.a. the Benny Hill Theme Song - Boots Randolph: Why not? I'd make it work.
   
9. "Postcards From Italy" - Beirut: For ambience.
   
10. "Elephant Gun" - Beirut: For traveling or ambience.
    
11. "Missed the Boat" - Modest Mouse: I'd just like to include them, but if I had to choose a certain scene, it sounds like it would work for opening credits.
    
12. "Damn Girl" - Justin Timberlake: For when I attempt/fail to pick-up the girl at the bar.
    
13. "All These Things That I've Done" - The Killers: End credits.
    

It's April...?

Dear Michigan,

Sorry about the green Christmas. I know the holiday season just isn't the same without the snow and I'm sure it ruined many of your plans for skiing, snowboarding and snowmobiling.

I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I had a little drama with Father Nature that needed to be taken care of. I've been meaning to make it up to you and I thought why not bring the snow back around Easter? I know Jesus loves the snow. He's actually quite the snowboarder. Toodles!

With love,
Mother Nature

Seeing Beirut

Due to a number of external factors, this will probably the be the closest I'll get to seeing Beirut live, at least in the near future. Looks like it would be a fun show.

Postcards from Italy
Elephant Gun (rocks)
Other songs can be found there :)

It's the Name That Hair-metal Band Quiz!

The latest entry in EW.com's Pop Culture Quiz series tests if you can name that hair-metal band. You knew they had hair, but how well do you know their hair?

I scored an 8/10. Thankfully I don't fail at the 80s...yet.

...but "Football in the Groin" has football in the groin...

I've long used the Internet Movie Database for my movie information needs. It's a nice way to see if a film is any good, was filmed in a certain part of the world or to find out just what that song was playing in the end credits. It's also a nice reference to make sure an actor/actress really is separated within six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Astute observers may have noticed that IMDb has recently received a facelift, but it's more than just cosmetic improvements. Maybe I just haven't been paying attention to it, but I swear the 'plot keywords' category is a recent addition. The depth of the terms you can search is astounding. If I wanted to see if a movie has closet homosexuals, one of the results would be Wet Hot American Summer. Looking for a person on fire? Check out Nacho Libre. Want a bar fight? There's 72 movies to choose from including Patrick Swayze's Road House (which also has 'homoeroticism' as one of its keywords!).

Oddly enough, I'm shocked at the lack of football-in-the-groin in cinema. A search of that term only yielded two results. One was the original version of The Longest Yard. The other? That "A Star is Burns" episode of The Simpsons.